Dr Gavel's Darkplace of horror
by Dr. Gavel HD
Summary: Finally,a cross over of Cartoons and Tv shows with Garth Marenghi's Darkplace. If you're European, denfinetly read this, if you're not, read it anyway. Best parody ever!
1. intro

Alright, this I'm planning on making the best parody of a Children's hospital/ Garth Marenghi's Darkplace (UK). It's based around Darkplace but has a cast similar to the cast of Children's hospital so, here's the cast:

Dr. Chuck Gavel (OC, not me) - The handsome new cosmetic surgeon that always has a breadknife with him.

Dr. Dale Gribble (King of the Hill) -The nutty mental health/anger management psychiatrist and pharmacist since the last one, Dr. Phil, began beating the poor people with folding chairs. Always carries a Kanata sword.

Mr. Phil (formerly Dr. Phil) – A psychopathic patient under treatment of Dr. Gribble and Dr. Bean.

Dr. Bean (Mr. Bean) –The new mental health surgeon and British chef from England. Always carries pepper spray and blinds old ladies with it.

Dr. Margaret Robinson Quinoa (Regular show) - One of the only 2 female doctors and barista that lives at the hospital. Has a half robin, half human son.

Dr. Mordecai Featherstone (also Regular show) –The only certified doctor that can do aroma therapy on patients and always carries a .44 Magnum. Also has a crush on Margaret.

Dr. Edd Eddwardsone (Ed, Edd, and Eddy) – Dr. Bean's associate, handles Dale's pet dinosaur that's also the hospital's mascot, Dr. Barney. Always has a hedge trimmer that can cut down trees and sometimes uses to scare Dr. Chioggia.

Dr. Barney – Dale's stupid pet dinosaur that always carries a fire poker with him that usually scares the crap out of everyone.

Dr. Gibby Chioggia (iCarly) – The fat doctor that's the youngest person in the hospital and has a great phobia of hedges and hedge trimmers.

Dr. Benson Stankenstein (Regular show) – The vice president of the hospital and is also Jewish but most people call him a Muslim that keeps him out of fast food restaurants and Bob Evan's.

Mr. Warden (Superjail!) –The unseen president of the hospital that has earned himself the name Mr. Elton Wonka due to his appearance and is believed to be causing the weird commotion at the hospital.

Dr. Freddy Benson (iCarly) –The only male nurse that's soon to be a doctor. Always carries a shotgun.

Dr. Carly Shay (iCarly) –The other female doctor. Has a crush on Dr. Benson.

So that's the cast, there will be more patients and doctors along with nurses and wait to see the stuff they get into, I'm only breaking my promise because of my lack of comments so tell me some of your ideas, if you're from England or any other country in Europe and you have an account and Bio you'll get your idea in the story if I don't discontinue it and for me to keep on writing I need 5 comments that's not a lot considering some and even most stories.


	2. the arrival

England, 7/23/1997

England was everything I thought it would be, rainy, cloudy, and gloomy. I'm Dr. Chuck Gavel or just Dr. Gavel. I'm a cosmetic surgeon out of Philadelphia that was recently hired to work at a hospital called Darkplace, or Darkplace 2 because the original Darkplace was burned down shortly after the doctors disappeared although my former boss begged me not to go because I was the 56th best cosmetic surgeon in North America that made me be the #1 choice as a plastic surgeon for Darkplace hospital and I thought about my former colleagues and boss and who would my new boss be and I was so lost in thought I didn't notice until the driver of the airport shuttle van slapped me in the face that was rather rude for someone in any developed country to do so I paid him but didn't give him a tip for such a rude way to get my attention and a doctor wearing an orange baseball cap and silver sunglasses helped me carry my luggage into the main hall of the hospital before leaving to probably get something to eat and then I felt as alone as on my 1st day at college and as if I thought the day could get any weirder a gumball machine walked up to me and I wondered if I was going nuts or just seeing things and then the machine spoke in a non-British tone.

"You must be Dr. Chuck Gavel, am I right?" The machine then extended his hand to me and I shook it and said.

"Err… Hi, and you're right; just call me Dr. Gavel. Have I gone nuts?" I said and then a guy in a suit with him beginning to bald ran out of the same hall that the guy that helped earlier went down and him and another doctor in a brown suit ran after him and the one in the orange baseball cap was wielding a Kanata and chasing after the lunatic even though the 2 of them looked as crazy as the guy they were chasing.

"No, you haven't; the people here you may find strange at first but after a few days you'll get used to them and Mr. Phil and you should always carry a weapon. So here." Then he reached into the inside pocket of his lab coat and pulled out chocolate buttons, a breadknife, and room keys for my office that was ward-A: room 37.

Surprised why anyone would give me a breadknife I asked. "What's the breadknife for?"

Then the man seemed to be shocked at the question I asked him and he answered. "If you're going to be working here, I'll minus well tell you the old hospital or Darkplace had a hellmouth under it that caused the strange events to happen here and eventually kill everyone and burn it to the ground and so the parliament voted on only having one British person being Dr. Bean so the curse won't, hopefully be as severe on foreign employees of the finest quality and skill and also this hospital is under government and UN spotlight for an international research clinic and medical center and equipment from Japan and the DMC will be arriving here in the next week or so and I feel so rude for not asking you if you have a place to stay?"

"I don't have a place to stay but I can stay in a hotel." I answered and I didn't have enough Pound shillings to get into even the cheapest motel or even inn.

"No, no, no. You can stay with Dr. Featherstone, Dr. Bean, Dr. Gribble, and Dr. Chioggia." He said and I thought about what name sounded normal enough for me and I settled with Dr. Bean.

When I finally left the hospital with 2 suitcases of my luggage (I had more but I didn't want to crowd up his apartment or condo) and it turned out he owned a stand-alone 2 story house that had ivy growing up the sides and a few shingles were falling off the roof and one hit Dr. Bean on his head and it turned out his house was clean and somewhat organized but had wallpaper peeling, cracks in the walls, and one of the cupboard doors had fallen off and was laying against a wall and I asked about where I would sleep and he came out of a walk in closet a few minutes later pulling an old fold down bed into his living room and setting it up and then he went back into the closet and came out with clean, lavender scented space themed sheets and comforter and set the bed up with some of my help and then he said "Goodnight." And leaving the lamp on and I found the TV remote and looked for some late-night British comedies or to see if they had The Simpsons on and after 6 minutes of searching I found a TV show that interested me and then I had to have fallen asleep because the next thing I knew has that Dr. Bean was shaking me and saying "Wakey wakey!" Then I was getting dressed and I grabbed a cup of tea to keep me full until I arrived at the hospital completely unprepared for what was waiting for me there.

Okay, now if you watched Garth Marenghi's Darkplace you'll notice it's like a-show-within-a-show and I decided it wouldn't be in a convenient time period if the main character was Garth Marenghi's son so I decided to make a parody of it taking place in 1997 instead of 2008 that adds to the excitement of the story by using 90's technology and you'll be hearing about groundbreaking medical science from the mid/late 90s plus some computers and programs along with a miniature antenna TV and Dr. Gribble's 96' green Ford Explorer. Please comment, flame, or even alert my stories, I know idiots that write every story the same thing or so short I can memorize it by just reading it once and they get freaking wikis on their crappy stories , and this doesn't just apply to me, it applies to ALL writers so give someone your opinion today!


	3. Lunch Hath Fury

England, 7/24/1997

When I walked into the hospital, I was greeted by the same man I saw yesterday being chased by Dr. Bean and Dr. Gribble almost being hit with a chair but a small/big purple dinosaur carrying a fire poker made the man scream like a little girl and then he dropped the folding chair and ran down a corridor and then a 6 foot tall male blue jay went out of a different hallway with a .44 Magnum and he held it towards the dinosaur and then the dinosaur ran away in fear from the avian with the gun. Then as if it could get any worse a fat teen wearing a lab coat ran out of another hallway being chased by a younger and thinner man with an electric hedge trimmer and then the gumball machine's voice came over the intercom and said.

"Everyone, stop what you're doing and report to the café right now for an immediate meeting!" Then everyone stopped, unsheathed their weapons, and ran down the main hall and I followed them through the winding halls that seemed to be more sinister than any halls of any hospital I ever visited, but all hospitals have those feelings about them but back to the story. We entered what seemed like a melee hotel's banquet hall only bigger and having a rather nice buffet to choose from and then I took a seat at a table with Dr. Gribble and Mr. Benson, which turned out to be a nurse that was nearing his Doctorate and then Dr. Benson Stankenstein (that turned out to be the gumball machine's name) went up to a podium and spoke into the microphone that sounded like a cheap Karaoke one.

"Hello," The machine began saying."As many of you may already know, we have another American Doctor on deck that just happens to be our plastic surgeon so give a warm welcome to Dr. Chuck Gavel CSD!" He finished and everyone made eye contact with me for an uncomfortable amount of time before Dr. Stankenstein appointed Dr. Mordecai Featherstone, Mr. Benson, Dr. Gribble, and Dr. Bean to help with moving my stuff into my office that was on the South wing on the 2nd floor that was odd for there to be a 2-digit number on a second floor and unfortunately, right below me was the staff rec area and right above me was the severe mental treatment centre (or SMTC for short) that happened to house the former Pharmacist Mr. Phil refereed to before he got Charles' Chair Mental Dysfunction (CCMD) as Dr. Phil and it turned out that with groundbreaking research and the MRI, he could be cured from this trauma caused disorder in 12 years, but until then he'll just be beating poor people with a folding chair that by the end if someone was hit with a chair, we'd be so used to it that we wouldn't hear it!

7/29/1997

It's been 5 days since the introduction and I can't get over the fact that Dr. Barney, Dale's pet dino, has it in for me and now I'm waiting in the line for Lasagna and I don't know why it takes someone 6 hours to cook a batch of warehouse club Lasagna and then Dr. Chioggia mumbled "It's damn pasta; iy doesn't take a rocket scientist to cook it."

Then the chef that clearly wasn't working on cooking the pasta at all yelled. **"YOU BUM! YOU'LL BE LUCKY IF YOU GET ANY!" **Then he pretended to be checking on the Lasagna in the oven and then Gibby was staring at the metal ladle intently then he picked it up and threw it at the chef's head causing his hat to fall to the ground and then Gibby grabbed one of the large serving forks and threw it at his butt causing him to scream making Dr. Bean jump in horror causing his wonton soup bowl to land with the soup in it on his head upside-down making him have to stick his hands out in front of him and he accidentally stuck them in Dr. Stankenstein's mashed potatoes and soon Benson grabbed a slice of pie off of Dale's plate and stuff it into Bean's mouth and Dale took his Spaghetti and smashed it into Benson's 'face' and I went to check on the chef and he managed to pull out the fork so I was about to lift him up and carry him to ER but then someone threw a Bavarian Crème pie at the back of my head and then I went to the pizza that was a bit too hot and burned Edd's face and then he chucked hot fries into my face then I grabbed a container of nachos and threw them at Gibby's face causing him to squeal like a pig then Benson ran out of the room and then the fire alarm rang and the sprinklers turned on causing the floor to get slippery even though the floor was covered in food I ran towards the back exit but unfortunately I slipped and had a dislocated knee and then after Benson said the 'fire' was put out I went to Mr. Benson that happened to deal with some dislocations in the past but he had a 1st degree burned face and then I asked.

"Can you relocate my knee; I'll do whatever you want if you do."

"Even facial surgery so I don't have to be classified burn victim?" He asked in a look of disbelief.

"Yeah, but only on the more severe ones because burns heal up when they're 1st degree slowly and I can't do surgery with a dislocated knee."

"Okay, follow me to the north wing."

"Why the north wing? I thought your office was on the 4th floor of the east wing of ward B."

"Whoever told you that was wrong; my office is on the 2nd floor in the north wing of ward A." He said walking out of the room and I limped after him to get my knee relocated but then medicine and bottles of cleaning supplies were moving in very random directions that we had to duck from to keep from getting hit and the farther down the hall and the closer to the elevator we came, the items began moving faster and faster until a bottle of Windex™ hit Mr. Benson on the side causing him to collapse.

Hello again, if you didn't know already this is based around the episode Hell Hath Fury except with a twist that makes it funnier and I know Gibby was acted off character and that he isn't afraid of hedges it's just that I added that so the final chapter will be funnier when Mordecai… I'm not giving that part away, if you people still act like apes after I write _World of Zombies,_ the first King of the hill/regular show/Virus (80's movie that involves a virus and a supercomputer that can fight a nuclear war)/Short circuit/Ed, Edd, and Eddy/Hellsing/Zombie holocaust fanfic mixed with cold, hard evidence of how one would go down if one happened in reality (and there was actually a zombie that was a man that died 18 years before voodoo priests resurrected him to work on a sugar plantation that was a failure because he's a dead corpse and shortly after you die, your eyes are useless and zombies after being alive in the summer for a few weeks are walking biological blood bombs that can explode suddenly. If you don't believe me, look up 'reasons a zombie acolapse would fail' or 'stages of decomposition a corpse goes through when it dies'.) I'll stop writing and beta-reading so some freakin' idiot can do it for you. (Malkshake counts; if that was a show it would sound like a malfunctioning robot over half the time due to language.) Some of those idiots (especially the man that wrote Starkit's prophecy) spell shape shifter more like sap sh***er so straighten up, you're 12-35 (random guess) and some of you write your stories the same thing every time (Delete My Account 2011, how do you know that FF connects you to your account? Have you even had an account on here before?) Or having very, very imperfect spelling that nobody wants to read (I know nobody's perfect with spelling even most people that have been on since 2000 don't have perfect spelling.) So comment, my stories are as good as anyone else's so you should be feared of me, for you could be next to face my wrath (if you've been wondering what happened to Robot Bachelor and the KOTH/ICarly cross over, he changed his pen name and went into hiding on FF and he deleted his own story, not me reporting his story.) So please review.


End file.
